January 7th, 2009 by smith
came to your daughter first baby shower? My daughter and I drove over 3600 miles to come to her daughter wedding ( I thought it was crazy because she just got out of High School), but We came. I have helped after I moved back to home area and let them have the party for her oldest daughters wedding at my house. I have been to the hospital for all her grandchildren births but the last one I could not and all their birthday parties and flew in when her 15 year old gave birth I did not approve of her life style but I was very supportive and did talk her into going back to school and she graduated from college and now she has four kids and I went to every wedding and every occasion but the last ones birth I was in the middle of renovating my 75 & 76 year old parents kitchen and it was her 4Th and the 3rd is only 18 months old and all I hear is money, money , money, or baby sit or rehab my daughter without hurting her feelings, or we have this and we have that ( keep up with the JONES SORT OF THING) which i do not believe in! I'm so broke. they do not know broke I have had to live off of $694 a month for 7 years and that is with a raise increase every year I worked myself two jobs until I wore my body out and then my Bipolar got the best of me when I could not work any more and there is no any medication that I can take for it I have to deal with my issues and go to therapy. Stress makes me worse and they left me renovating my parents house < I have 2 brother left they are worthless in helping my parents. I'm the one broke ! I'm hurt, mad and any other feeling you can throw in their I feel it right now. My daughter is not a teen she is on her late 20's, out of High School and college and waited until she found the right guy, she got married before she got pregnant with her baby and she has tried to do things in the way she was brought up obliviously I moved away so she was not influenced by her cousins. I 'm very hurt because they are jealous of her and they hurt her and then after the baby shower my daughter gets home and hears the news her friend died due to complications from child birth. My daughter is already having problems and she is under I hope good doctors care but, I so do not Understand how they could be so cold and not even come much less R.S.V.P. I'm not wealthy, But I always buy something for this bunch leaches. This is my 1ST grand child and the mother n law threw the bay shower at the same Church my daughter got married in and attends do not get me wrong she is not a perfect child but she did not deserve this, she thinks they are out there is a fairytale world and she is right but we are always nice to them and go to even function that we are invited to. I want to say something but I'm so angry right now and filled with sympathy for and empathy for my daughter, all this in one day. My sister n law came and my x sister n law called me and her and got her a gift and talked to her and she works out of town and made the effort to call me and she is my deceased brothers x wife but I still have contact because she is my nephews mother and I love her like a sister. I was in the room and went through the labor and delivery of her first born. We are not real close because of differences but that is something we always try to respect each other. I go to therapy and this is the only way I deal with this family and right now I'm not dealing so well ! Anyone out there ever go through this sort of thing with out saying or doing anything? i feel like Christmas now is just my 3 grown chrildren including son n law and my parents and grand child if God see fit for him to be here. Any one that reads this if you have no answers just please say a prayer for the family that lost a daughter,sister, the poor baby, her husband, and my entire family my daughter and husband and me, I beleive if you pray in groups that it works much better. Thank you if you read this and pray but if you have no answers I understand, because I do not know anyone else that has had this type of thing to go on.You must realize that you are not the one with the problem. I know it is hurtful when family members act with jealously and envy but these are issues that they must conquer. You are trying to be the rock for everyone and it is also hurtful when no one considers your feelings. You don't have to argue just let them know that you want to be a more close knit family. Express to them that you want them to be there for you and your daughter just like you have them. Unfortunately we can't pick our family members. May our Heavenly Father bestow peace upon your family.I am praying for you brother! Especially for your daughter. That must be hard being pregnant and your friend dying from childbirth complications. Did her(the friend) baby die as well? That is a sad story. I am praying. God will give your daughter peace in the delivery room. As far as the family goes, anger doesn't solve problems. Let them know that you are upset and explain it all to them but even though you are mad talk to them so you can get it off your chest and not let the anger build up. Perhaps they don't know your feelings and don't see how hard you work. I wish you and your family the best. Blessings!If they have so much that they are bragging about it, stop buying them gifts. You need the money more than they do. If you are invited to an event for one of them and don't want to go, send a card and good wishes and don't go.
Its very hard when family members take advantage of you and never return the favor. Its a reflection of how self centered and spoiled they are.
I think all you can do is take care of you and your family and not worry about them, about what they think, what they do, etc. Love them but don't continue letting them take advantage of you.What often happens in families is that one person has the kids first, those kids have the weddings and babies first, and someone else has the time to go things. Then when it comes time for the other siblings to have things, the one who did them first has a life that has too many worries and activities for them to be able to get to all the functions.
It isn't always that they don't care or don't want to go. None of us knows the worries and struggles someone else may have "behind the scenes".
Things can't always be even, even when people wish they could be. My sister and I have always just kind of agreed that "people do what they're able to do" and that "life is short, and family is too important to hold grudges". Most of the time, no matter a family members does or doesn't do, it isn't because they don't care.#If you have any other info about this subject , Please add it free.# |
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